August 15 Review

I saw this movie couple of days back, but had to wait till now to write this, to regain my confidence that I am a person of normal intelligence.

August 15 is a basic school drama type movie. Known plots, obnoxious characters and irritating dialogues.

And remember to leave your intelligence at the door, you won’t need them while you watch this movie. Even the producer, director or script writer never used it, then why would you?

The plot is the same, a good CM, and villains targeting to kill him. The basic problem with this plot is that, it is way too predictable and it takes a genius to present it in an intelligent manner. Think of “Catch me if you can” – it was predictable too, but see how well it was presented. That shows the intelligence and caliber of the movie makers.

As always, there is a person who is given a negative shade so that naturally, the audience will suspect them (In this movie, the director is kind enough to explain the plot in the first 10 minutes in a detailed manner. So that the dumb witted people like me can understand what is happening on the screen. Here it’s established that mafia has hired Siddique to kill the CM). Now this being a typical S.N. Swamy movie, we always know that there will be a twist (if I can call it that) so to confuse us, there is a character( Aravindakshan played by Jagathy), given an extra shade of goodness, so that we may think that he is behind all this.

Then twist on twist, a character in the sidelines is the actual person who planned all this. (Remember Vijayaraghavan from CBI 1?) It could be anyone, you choose- it could be even CM’s wife. Then the hero explains and gives weird reasons why he/she is the villain. We have no choice but to accept it, and wonder the brilliance of the hero and go home happily. Justice is done. Peace. 

But justice is not done to the audience. Remember Manichitrathazhu- the scene in which Shobhana goes for the neck of Mohanlal long before the suspense is revealed- It was shown to us, right before our eyes, but we still missed it. If you were smart enough, we could have caught Shobhana there. There is nothing like that in this movie, Not even a spark.

And the interesting part is the movie makers know all this, but they don’t care. They try to give explanations for minor things like why Mammootty doesn’t wear a helmet and leaves all the major loopholes in the movie open. 

Super hero Mammootty, is the CB CID. He is all in all, knows it all, and just below god in knowledge and status. He doesn’t believe in helmets, rides his Enfield in slow motion, wearing low- waist pants.

Let me ask you- if we know someone is poisoned, what do we do? We try to find what poison it is, its availability and access to people we can suspect. We trust the lab to give us the report. That is their expertise. But not for Mammootty- He searches Wikipedia and finds everything about poison and explains those to the core team. I even saw him typing frantically with Wikipedia page open- maybe he fixed some errors while he was there. 

Then the Villain, obsessed with killing the CM, shoots from a roof top. Ha Ha ! Not with clever Mammootty around. He had put a dummy in the car. ( For once, I wished the dummy was me, it was far better). Then, remember there is a battalion of policemen around him, but only Mammootty with his zoom vision spots Siddiqque, and runs behind him alone. It is my humble request to the director, out of respect to the age of the actors, please don’t make them do all that. 

Yes, the director got some young and fit stunt men to do the jumping etc, But still there is a lot of running around and movements, Can our actors in their present age, do all that?  I wouldn’t take that risk.

In the good old days, Prem Nazir knew a stunt to jump backwards to the top of a building, there are similar scenes in this new age modern flick!

Mammootty also makes the portraits of the Villain, in Photoshop, sticks everything on to a wall and randomly shoots at the images. Suddenly, one portrait comes apart, and that is the villain’s image !

Who is he? The parrot in a cage? To pick a card, that predicts the future?

Mammootty, once says, that he doesn’t need an office for some weird reason, but after a while he is in a beautifully decorated office with some 2-3 beautiful girls from Police CyberCell.  And you know what the Cybercell does? They have hired a few good looking girls, they call up the mobile operator guys and sweet talk to them to give them the required details. WTF? It shows the bloody ignorance and attitude of the script writer and the director. I say, if there is anyone who is working in cybercell, who has dignity, should file defamation case against this movie. What a shame!

Everything takes time in this movie, “it will take couple of days to get the lab report”  “it will take couple of days to get that report” so that the movie can go on for about 2 hours or more. If the reports come fast, which I bet it can, there is no story, there is no movie, and there is no money. In this way, “it will take couple of generations for these super directors and script writers to mature and create something watchable”

The DGPs runs to Mammootty whenever they are confused or tense- like school children to the teacher- Mr. Know it all, consoles them, explains things to them and sends them back clearing all their doubts, but stops short of giving them homework.

And finally, Mammootty kills the villain in a theatre which is on fire. Surprise! Who would have thought?

I think the lead characters name was Mammootty itself. All I saw was Super Hero, Demigod Mammootty on the screen. No character.

And in this election time, the movie says that there are no issues between the CM and the party secretary. But we knew that already. Didn’t we?

Technically speaking

For shooting movies, and to ensure that the shots are steady, there is this new fangled contraption called a camera stand. Pradeep Nair, if you are unaware of this device- it will help you stabilize your shots and offer the viewer a better viewing experience. I got squint eyes and neck is still sprained watching this movie. Completely unnecessary pans and zooms- a typical aspect of Shaji Kailas movies- which was a trade mark of old B grade movies still continues in this. FEFKA or PEPSI, whatever is its name, please pass a resolution to Never ever again give Pradeep a zoom lens. He will play around with it like a kid with a new toy and make the whole experience a painful one. Maybe it’s my eyes, but I am pretty sure that I saw some shots which were completely out of focus. 

Set direction- check any scene, which has a table- there is a pencil holder with multi color pencils. Be it DGPs office, Mammotty's home, CM's home or anywhere. Did the director parallely announce an art competition among the characters?( as a sample see here, here, here and here )

 

The shoddiness of the director is such that, even the false beards of the priest are so evident as if it’s a kid's fancy dress. Havent you guys figured how to fix a beard till now? Come on, really ?

Technically, this movie sucks. (as if it doesn't suck otherwise!) Typical marriage video standard editing/animations, audio and video unsynchronized multiple times, oh and did I say about the shoddy and pseudo action film camera work?

Only one good thing about this movie is that there is no Kavya Madhavan and Dileep and a song in London streets. And hence I generously give .1/2 marks more than Christian Brothers.

August 15 is a cheap, boring and silly high school drama.

August 15 Rating: 2.5/10

Christian Brothers

Direction: Joshiy / Joshee/ Josh-hee or some other funny spelling. Other crew: I don't know, and I frankly don't care, because, they are not even worth mentioning.

Well, we have all seen this- a hundred times. A father of high moral values - misunderstands his son- thinks son is gone rogue -  dad supports the villains -  kicks the son out of his house - later when the villains attack the father, son returns - saves him - father says sorry and dies.

Just to refresh your memory -Sphadikam, Balettan, Chotta Mumbai - a few in which Gentleman Cadet Mohanlal himself starred. So if you have seen any of those, save yourselves from this one, go buy a bottle for the cost of the ticket and enjoy your evening.

Josheeyi, Josh-hee, joshy josh hey Joshey after the hangover of 20-20 is stuck in the same soup formula, mega movies, huge stars(literally!), larger than life roles and cheap slap stick comedy.


Here is the story, or what is left of it: Rtd. Captian Vargheese Mappila (Saikumar) marries off his daughter Jessy (lakshmi Gopalaswamy) to Krishna(Goergootty) who is actually a pimp in Mumbai. Christi(Mohanlal ) who is a decent god fearing, family loving son, as he always used to be in all movies, goes to Mumbai and finds out the dealings of Georgeootty. Georgeootty kills the goondas who were chasing them for no apparent reason, while he could have run away, hands over the gun the Christi and escapes. The police arrests poor innocent Christi(violins in the background, please).  Georgootty doesn't stop there- he goes home, kills Jessy, his wife, again for no apparent reason. The clever villain then goes to Kerala, to Saikumar and tells him its Christi who did all this.

Tang da-dang !

Poor Christi out on bail, returns to his father to explain these things- Then the familiar thing happens-
Christi: "Dad, I have to tell you something"
Vargheese Mappila: "No, I dont want to hear anything! You have spoiled the family's prestige ! you killed my daughter! Get out ! I dont want to see you again!"

Christi: " But dad, its kind of important, you should hear this"
Vargheese Mappila: "No! I dont want to hear it! Get out!"

(well, if you remember seeing such scenes a 2983 times before, starting from Satyan-Sheela movies, its your fault, you don't forget anything, do you?)

Christi, is disappointed as much he would be if he didn't get ticket to a movie, walks out of the house, promising never to return.


That bugger pimp Georgeootty, killed his sister, put him in jail, blamed him for everything, won the trust of dad, and is staying in the same house with your other sister- and Christy cool, simbly walks out.

If you are still with me, there is more- Suraj Venjaranmoodu is irritating( if i had a cook like him, he wouldnt last 2 days at my home- got to admire the patience of the Home Minister(Devan)), Harisree ashokan( his 24th time in the role of a broker) is damn irritating. Guys, wake up! the name of what you did on screen is called cheapness, not comedy. I had a better laugh when I watched clowns in cheap circus tents.


The intro scene of Mohanlal: After the usual build up, there is fire all over the screen- Mohanlal appears and floats horizontally and fires bullets at the audience, then he splits into 3 and joins back again. What an amazing skill! I hear that Mohanlal recently mastered this trick while training with the Indian army.

Then there are the main villains- Vijayaraghavan and co. They just drink scotch whiskey near the pool and randomly stab and kill people.

The average age of all the actors in the movie is 53 years, 9 months.

A fat and old Suresh Gopi, a faint shadow of his former movie image, mouthing rhyming dialogues and marching here and there in uniform.


The fight scenes at regular intervals of 20 minutes are perfectly choreographed by Disco Shanti. No body gets hurt.(nothing spectacular here, go out for a smoke if you like. if you have seen one Mohanlal fight, you have seen it all)

Its a 3 hour 15 minutes of non stop torture. Wait for a few weeks and the theater projector operators will do some editing for you, and hopefully make more sense then what is presently there. I am sure with some lavish use of scissors, we can recycle the rubbish and re create a 10 minute crisp completely different movie. or maybe a couple of them.

Other than to show a bit of skin and also to show us, the stupid audience, that Christi is a man with emotions and is capable of loving and caring, there is Lakshmi Rai, and two completely unnecessory songs.

Dileep blabbers his usual stuff and roams around through screens, well, I don't know what else he did in the movie, other than being a reason to bring in Kavya Madhavan and an irritating song in foreign locations.

This is the kind of nonsense movie these old Jurassic age directors churn out. These are the kind of movies the stalwarts like Mohanlal and Suresh Body choose to act.

And these are the kind of movie that we, poor Malayalees, deserve to see- because its us, and no body else, gave the movie makers the feeling that we will gulp down any sh*t that is presented to us packed in colorful superstar wrappers and tied with the ribbon of over hype.

Enjoy your evening watching the news at home, it will be more entertaining than this movie


Christian Brothers Rating: 2/10

Bhargavacharitham Moonam Khandam

Director: Joemon // Producer: Noushad, Najeeb // Cast: Mammootty, Sreenivasan, Johnny, Mohan Jose, Saikumar, Rahman, Salim Kumar // Editing: PC Mohan // Screenplay: Sreenivasan // Story: Joemon, Sreenivasan

Undoubtedly one of the worst movies i have ever seen. There is not even a single moment which is enjoyable. This will not even qualify as an okay movie in a high school project.

The plot is interesting. The Hero( iam not sure who is the Hero, since Mammootty and Srinivasan share the screen space equally.. More over there was no song sequences of hero and heroine in foregin locales, so I really dont know who is the hero. But since our super heros does not act in anything less than a hero role, i guess it is Mammootty. ) is an underworld don, with ganja plantations and other criminal acts to his credit. He one day suddenly looses his confidence, and cannot shoot or smash the head of his opponents. He seeks the help of a crazy psychoanalyst (sreenivasan). Have I seen an english movie with almost the same plot ?

But the whole thing goes for a toss in the execution of the idea. The script seems to be is written by a 10th grade student who just saw a movie for the first time in his life. Mammootty is wasted in his role. Srinivasan is okay, trying to do a "udayananu tharam" kind of role. Salim kumar will have to look for other job options if he is planning his career this way (he could ask harisree ashokan, who walked the path before him)
The scenes are not connected, the audio/visual not synchronized, nothing is good in this movie.
I can go on and on.. but I am not wasting any more time writing a review on this s***t.

It’s a crap, dont even go near the theatre which plays this movie.

Bhargavacharitham Moonam Khandam rating : 1/10

FAQS

Who are you ?
Pretty old song, but I like it. If you are interested check here.


Why do you write movie reviews ?
Because I am passionate about movies. Movies are the only place where I reach always before time, and never leaves till they turn off the projector.

So are you a professional movie critic or what ?
Nope. I am a software engineer/designer. I write code/draw graphics for a living.

Then what makes you think that you can write reviews ?
I am a member of the public to whom the movies are targeted to. That gives me the right to comment about what I see. And I know exactly what I like and what I dislike. I write just my views.

I dont agree with your views about "xyx" movie.
This is the FAQ section. and thats not a Question.

Okay, I dont agree with your views about "xyz" movie. what do you have to say ?
What I write is not the last word. Its my sincere attempt to start a discussion. If you have differing views, please write them in the comments section. You are also free to email me your views. Lets debate.

Why dont you write about the good things in a movie, than pointing out the bad things ?
Thats what the reviews in news papers and websites are for. They have to promote the movie. They always have to be *politically right*. I dont have to be.

Does anyone read this stuff ?
I am not sure of others, but I know for sure, that you are reading this now.

Can I write a review for your site ?
Sure, send me. If it passes the test, I shall put it up with due credits.

What test ?
I check the bits you send for atmoic radiation using Geiger counters and scintillometers. If the radiation is less than 50 mrem (.5 mSv), I send it across to the approvals and denials committiee of intergalactic movie review nodal center(IGMRNC). After processing, they send back a subatomic particle, if its a proton, i publish. If its an electron, sorry, i dont.

Hmm. Whom do I complaint to if you dont publish my review ?
The Grievance Redressal Forum(TGRF) of IGMRNC

What if i have a question that is not covered in this FAQ ?
Then obviously, its not a FAQ. Mail it directly to me.

Rasatanthram

//Director:Sathyan Anthicaud // Producer:Antony Perumbavoor// Cast: Mohanlal,Meera Jasmine,Bharat Gopi, Siddique, Innocent, Jagathy Sreekumar // Music: Ilayaraja // Lyrics: Girish Puthencherry //Screenplay: Sathyan Anthikkad //


You guys expect a lot. But when you walkout as the credits roll up, I am not sure if you could be satisfied with what you got.

For any movie, the base is a story or one-line. It’s the foundation on which the movie is built up. If its not strong enough, sure, whatever u build above it, will collapse, even if you support it with national award winning actors, pull in all the comedians and coat it with family sentiments.

Premachandran(Mohanlal), is a carpenter, living with his father(Gopi). He is supposed to be an expert in his work (what did u expect, after all he is the hero if the movie, right ? )

His colleagues, Innocent and others love him much.

Premachandran, Once sees heroine, naked(?) taking bath. I don’t know why they always do this shot. Take 100 movies and in 10 of them, the hero sees his heroine in her birthday suit first ! In the past, Mohan lal has seen other heroines too nude, Remember Indraja in “Ustad” ?

He then finds out that she is a poor Tamil girl, Kanmani, working as a maid in a rich house, often ill treated. He saves her from suicide and she ends up dressed as a boy, and living among others who never suspects her to be girl. Wait, wait.. I will agree that there are a few girls who can dress up as a man and go unnoticed. But Meera Jasmine ? No way!

Mean while the police hunts for the girl, and a local Romeo, is under arrest. He ‘confesses’ to the police that he has send that girl to Tanjavoor. That’s only piece in the movie which is humorous.

But before long, the police find out about the drama and in the court Kanmani says that I am not forced and would like to live with the Hero.

That’s all.

Producer: But its only 1 hour now!
Director: Hmm.. let me see we will add some flashback

Director brings in the past of the hero being in jail for a murder case. (of course, he didn’t commit it ! Hello, our heroes are soo nice that they can’t do any sin.)

Producer: okay some 20 more minutes gone. But we need more!
Director: we need some sentiments. Let’s try the angle of land recovery and the houses of poor people being demolished for development. You know it works well with the masses!
Producer: But the Hero’s house is not a set! The real owners will kick our asses!
Director: No, No, we will cut before that.

The houses of premachandran and his neighbors are demolished.

Producer: 1.40 hours. What do I show the people for the rest of the time? Your old movies ?
Director: How about some old people neglected in the society? I tried that in my last movie, manassinakkare, and it worked well.
Producer: what ever! I need a two and a half hour movie!

Cut to the old age home, sentiments.

Producer: Fine, Its hardly 2 hours now.
Director: wait, I have a few aces up my sleeve! You saw my movie, Veendum chila veettu karyangal ? In that I have used this, Rich bro and sis of the hero, ignoring the parents, but the hero, though poor, takes care of them. How does that sound ?
Producer: Great ! do it !

The Hero has a brother and sister who lives their own high profile lives in the society. But they are rich but our hero is rich in love. The hero is not invited for his bro’s daughter’s marriage ! Cry, audience, cry !

Producer: No one would cry for such a simple reason.
Director: okay, lets take the 19^th adavu !

The heros father passes away, peacefully.

Producer: Wow ! that’s good ! now they will cry.
Director: You bet !
Producer: but aren’t your movies known for comedy ?
Director: ooops ! I forgot ! Do you have jagathy’s phone number ?

Jagathy comes in as muraimaman of Kanmani with intentions of marrying her.

By that time the hero realizes that the only one who loves him in this world is Kanmani and marries her.

Shubham !

I told you, you expected a lot. But you will be disappointed in this.

No story no movie !
The director should be made to write this imposition 1000 times.

But there are a few good points in this movie, the music by Ilayaraja is soothing and cool as the village breeze. The plain and simple life of the villagers. The chemistry between Mohanlal and Gopi. The camera that captures the beauty of the locations.

Watch at your own risk, and don’t forget to tickle yourself when you want to laugh.

‘Rasatanthram’ rating: 4/10

Chintamani Kola Case

The hero, Lal Krishna Viradiyar, aka Suresh Gopi, is a criminal lawyer, He not only lets the criminals go scot free from the law, but follows them and kills them the same day !
Intelligent, i should say, he makes money by appearing for them and also makes sure that the justice is done, by killing them!

Chintamani Kola Case portrays Suresh Gopi in the lead role, a character with some sides of a psychopath. (As in any Malayalam movie, there has to be explanation for everything. why is the hero a psychopath? Oh .. that’s because he witnessed his teacher being brutally killed when he was a kid. problem solved !) He quotes from the holy books at any given time and preaches of cosmic law. The Hindu symbols, slokas, rudraksha, and the multicolored threads, are in place, typical of Shaji Kailas movies.

He kills two people who have committed heinous crimes in the start of the movie, with a lavish overdose of special effects. I wouldn’t be wondered if the special effects guy billed right next the hero or the director. He had a truck load of work to do. I wouldn’t mind being killed by someone, but all the verbal torture about the cosmic law, and the special effects are unbearable.

Cut to the good old village girl, who gets admission to the "new evil" in the kerala society, self financed private colleges. There a gang of 9 girls, overly colored, ready for anything girls are waiting to strike against the village belle. Those mirchi girls reminded me of the masks we use to scare children, simply lacking life and believability.

They rag her, to an amount less than I, or anyone who has gone into a professional college, have personally experienced. But the poor girl is so ‘feather touch’, that she decides to leave the college. She is found murdered a few days later.

Enter the hero as the lawyer for the suspected mirchi girls. What happens then is unbelievable. Not even in a movie.

Its a typical Shaji Kailas movie, with all the unwanted cuts, special effects and woosh-swoosh.
The movie was made in a hurry, for they didn’t even have the time to check the spellings of the titles or the audio video synchronization.

The story, inspired by the likes of Anniyan and other random stuff, is made up from the news paper cuttings with serious loop holes and too sloppy. The characters are too overly colored and hyped up which creates nausea. Many characters are completely unwanted and just pulled in for just a scene and few punchy dialogues. (Kalabhavan moni, Vani Vishanath, Rekha etc..). Suresh Gopi goes over board, by heights of over acting, however you try to explain it with his psychopathic nature.

The music is a torture with remixed versions of "asato ma sat gamaya" and other slokas. No aspect of the movie is above the mediocre level.

I will resort to a Tamil phrase, to describe this movie, for want of a better usage. "Romba ovar !"

Chintamani Kola Case Rating : 3/10

Malamaal Weekly

Hmm.... Well if you go to theatres without much expectations than to see an average sitcom over lot of popcorns and coffee, you wouldnt be disappointed as long as your expectations are low enough.

This is about a bunch of poor people from a poverty stricken village in north india, haunted my the money eyed Thakurani. The local drunkard, wins a lottery of One Crore and dies in the shock of the news. Others gather around to trick the lottery inspector and whisk the money off, giving rise to many a comic scenes.

I am almost sure the story is flicked off from somewhere, yet i dunno from where, you know, someone needs to show the remake raja, priyadarshan, how to shoot movies first. Only after that the mallu director adopts the movie and remakes it.

A few things that you can always expect in a priyadarshan movie- great sets, beautiful cinematography, and an item number. The same is true with Malamaal weekly too.

I have seen a few other movies made by Priyadarshan, and this one narrowly misses the worst spot to garam masala. You dont need a director of the proclaimed status and calibre of Priyadarshan to make a movie like this !

In the acting front, Paresh Rawal and Ompuri.. only because of these two guys i didnt walk out half way through the movie. Innocent, (its a noun, not an adjective !) a wonderful comedy actor from malayalam, is wasted and is struggling to fit in. Blame the bad dubbing !

so, to conclude, if you just want to laugh at your own tastelessness in selecting movies to watch, go watch this one !

Okay from now on a rating system is in place. Its on a scale of 10. 10 being the best and 1 being the worst, as if you didnt know it.

'Malamaal weekly' Rating: 3/10

Lion

Director:Joshy::Cast: Dileep, Kaavya Madhavan, Vijayaraghavan, Jagathy, Innocent
Music: Deepak Dev:: Lyrics: Kaithapram :: Cinematography: P. Sukumar ::

Nothing in this movie- nothing new, no creativity, no fun, no thrill.. nothing
just the old fashioned 'scripted from the newspapers' movie.

The hero changes the state over night, and finally is accused of killing his father.

Mother: " Get out of my sight, i dont want to see you !
Hero: "Mother, please listen to me.."
Mother: "No,I dont want to hear a thing ! get out !"

Hero is broken and goes ahead and finds the killers of his father, returns to his mother.
Mother: "ss.. Son... !"
Hero: "mm.. Mother ... !"

C'mon, Mr Director, how long will u give us this shit ?

Oh yea, the hero has a childhood sweetheart too, who sings and shakes her fat body with the hero, who adorns costumes hired from the local drama company, to the amazement curious onlookers in Newzealand/switserland/someotherland.

Not good, dont waste your time watching this.